1. |
April
04:18
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She woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Another day, another undetermined end.
All’s well that ends well, but the in-betweens are enough
to make you feel that enough is enough.
The kids won’t blame you, they know times is tough,
and nobody will deny you’ve had it rough.
Tie white boots over jumpsuit, bright yellow as the sun.
Grab keys, heavy sigh, and a short walk to the van.
April, you keep thinking that your life is in the toilet;
well, baby, you should know it's in the sewers.
April, keep your wits about you, April, it’s not hard.
This King of Rats won’t stand a chance with this Turtle Force in your backyard.
April, keep your wits about you, April, don’t be meek.
This Green Machine will keep your jumper clean of absurdities week to week.
It’s tough to live when your life’s an open cell,
free to wander through your private jail.
Through episode after episode, I only hope you learn
some tricks to help you come out of your shell.
April, keep your wits about you, April, you’re not dumb.
And everyone here understands that fame is not just something that comes
up to rescue you from a subway or an alien invasion.
April, keep that camera rolling and I’ll tell you what I’m saying.
Someday, maybe you can find yourself
in another world, another series of events.
Maybe score a cushy job as a lab assistant?
Change lives one sequence at a time.
But your past will always follow you, and you will stay the same.
Maybe your jock boyfriend will make it worth it.
Just know that you’ve got nothing left to prove,
and dammit, there ain’t nothing you can’t do.
It seems the world’s against you, but you’ll land on your feet.
Now grab a slice, here’s looking at you.
April, keep your wits about you, April, don't give up.
Sure, you spend your days in a laser cage, but you still get your stories done.
April, keep your wits about you, tomorrow's a brand new day.
New origins await you, in the city by the bay.
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2. |
Monkey King
03:53
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Everybody wants monkeys, but the monkey cages just cost far too much to buy.
And we all wanna be the hero, but we don’t want to admit attention is our Kryptonite.
But if we ever win the lottery, or the monkey cages somehow drop drastically in price,
We all know the attention monkeys bring, so where the hell will all these monkeys stay the night?
Hail, hail to the Monkey King!
Hail, hail to the Chief!
No one will remember you, but that’s the way you wanted it to be.
So just be free and you’ll see that everyone’s afraid of being seen.
Just an eon and a century ago, all you needed was some time to be alone.
And everybody that we loved would be at home, waiting for us.
Then a couple hundred million years went by and you decided there were too many prying eyes.
And thus, rebelliously charged into Oblivion upon a stegosaurus.
Hail, hail to the Monkey King!
Hail, hail to the Butcher of the Dinosaurs!
No one will remember you, but that’s the way you wanted it to be.
So just be free, and you’ll see that everyone’s afraid of being seen.
Hail, hail to the Monkey King!
Hail, hail to the god who left us long ago!
No one will remember you, but that’s the way we needed it to be.
We’ll just be free and we’ll see that everyone’s alone and wants to feel
connected to the world around them.
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3. |
The Skeleton Band
03:19
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There is an end to your life and it's calling your name,
and it's far more beautiful than I can explain.
When your outside is all that remains,
then your inside escapes from your guts and your brains.
First, there's an ugly old corpse in the ground,
and then there's a mess and a rattling sound
as the bones that are in you start dancing around
and the skeleton band begins to resound, singing,
We're a skeleton band and we're rocking in a graveyard.
Using bones as drumsticks, and a ribcage as a guitar.
Come join the skeleton band!
You can play drums, or you can play bass,
or you can play horn if there's lips left on your face.
But there's just one stipulation for saving your place:
you got a skeleton, right? So just give it some space.
You think you're happy? You're probably not.
Because life is a bitch, and we're all gonna rot one day.
It's better for you if you give it a shot!
Come join the skeleton band! Let's see what you got.
We're a skeleton band and we're rocking in a graveyard.
Using bones as drumsticks, and a ribcage as a guitar.
Come join the skeleton band!
Put a little soul in the skeleton band!
The afterlife is a horrifying purgatory
where you live on in the beat eternally.
There’s no religion and there’s no truthiology,
but you can be a skinless ghoul rock prodigy.
You can give your spirit to the amplifier,
and your bones will dance in the hellfire.
Leave your soul deep down in the dirt
and join the skeletons forevermore.
There is an end to your life, and it's calling your name,
and it’s far more skeletons than we can explain.
When your spirit is damned and aflame,
come join the skeleton band!
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4. |
One Day
04:28
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Someday, the dinosaurs will return someday, probably.
Someday, the robot dogs will spring us into action.
Someday, all these promises of past future somethings just might occur.
For now we're waiting assured that all of these things someday.
And everything you've ever known will be revealed to be a holographic simulation
of everything you ever knew, and nothing’s left to know, but all of these things, someday.
Someday, future space places will appear much closer that they do today.
Someday, we'll all own a glowing laser sword... but wait no, nevermind.
Someday, doesn't work for that, it was long ago and far away.
I cook my food by microwave, and all of these things someday.
And everything you've ever known will be revealed to be a holographic simulation
of everything you ever knew, and nothing’s left to know, but all of these things, someday.
And we're waiting for someday to be today again.
Everyone alive will be dust before the end.
Before the Universe disintegrates, I just want to see one day, someday.
Someday, I thought we'd ride off together into the sunset.
On hover bikes or boards or maybe hover boots.
But now I'm all alone, and the center of this b'ritto is cold.
This future sucks so I'll just stare off into someday.
And everything you've ever known will be revealed to be a holographic stimulation
of everything you ever knew, and nothing’s left to know, but all of these things someday.
And we're waiting for someday to be today again.
Everyone alive will be dust before the end.
Before the Universe disintegrates, I just want to see one day, someday.
Cuz I'm waiting for someday to be today again.
Begging for just one last kiss before the end.
Before the Universe disintegrates, I just want to see one day with you, someday.
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5. |
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When I turn off all the lights in this little house at night,
Azazel, Chief of the Goat Demons comes a’lurking.
He’s silent as the Lord and imposing as the Devil.
He’s trying to put a little terror in my soul, but it’s not really working.
Tonight, he’s standing quiet in the corner by the radiator.
I think he’s cold, but I don’t care enough to ask him.
“Every man, woman, and child goes to Hell,” he reminds me.
He’s starting to become corporeal, but I know it won’t last
because the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled
was to convince the world he doesn’t exist.
But now he’s really lonely.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled
was to convince the world he doesn’t exist.
But now he’s really fucking lonely, so he’s hanging out with me cuz I’m lonely too.
What’s a guy to do when the god of space and time is the Devil, and everyone seems to be on the level with it?
At least that’s what I gather from this party in a cemetery,
and the silence of the Lord toward the dying and the bored.
Here's to the demons we all live with every day and to the Void.
Well, I’m not dumb and I’m not crazy, I’m just disassociated, bored, and lazy.
And the Spirit of the Scapegoat says that’s someone else’s problem.
And I’m not cold and I’m not jaded, I’m just improperly medicated.
And the Spirit of the Scapegoat says that doesn’t really matter.
And I can’t cry when people die, I guess I’m deep down dee-dee-dead inside.
And the Spirit of the Scapegoat says that I should go and join them.
Go kick it with the dead folk, honey.
Tonight, he ate my dog alive,
then he resurrected my childhood dog and he ate him too.
What’s a guy to do?
Here’s to the silence of the Lord
toward the dying and the bored.
Here’s to the demons we all live with every day
and to the void.
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6. |
Mildred
03:28
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Do you remember that summer that we spent out on the lake?
We were young, and our whole family was staying with Aunt Mildred.
Nobody really noticed her warm eyes and solemn smile,
but I took to her quite fondly. And she showed me all around her brand new house
that our father built upon the ashes of the old family estate
that he had recently acquired.
Aunt Mildred showed me how to use the oven, and I’d bake
these little treats for all her cats and dogs, and chase them through the hallways.
And father would light a cigarette and stand out in the tide,
and watch the sun go down, and listen to the waves come rolling in.
Because he didn’t like the songs that she would sing to him when it got late
and the house smelled like tobacco.
And they’d have buried Aunt Mildred if she hadn’t burned up
inside the house with all her animals and her crazy little knick knacks.
And the bones that they could find, they put inside a sealed box,
laid to rest in the foundation of the grand, marvelous tribute of a house
that our father built upon the ashes of the old family estate
that he had recently acquired.
Then came the day; I heard old Mildred singing sweetly by the water’s edge.
So I went outside to listen while the gas flowed freely from the oven I left on.
I watched the house go up, and I listened to our father screaming out
as Aunt Mildred smiled out the doorway of the old family estate
that I would soon come to acquire.
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The Very Bad Days Minneapolis, Minnesota
Grim humor punk | Catchy tunes about terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days
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